OvalOptions is Expanding its Office and Services

In January, OvalOptions moved from its Denver office to the Clear Creek Office Building in Wheat Ridge. The new office has space for in-house trainings, conferences, meetings and dialogues. We extend sincere thanks to the Conflict Center for providing us office space over the last several years. The new location is significantly larger and provides several benefits to our clients.OvalOptions will host events throughout the year and offer its rooms for others to use when appropriate. Having events in house increases their frequency and reduces costs. For example, the main obstacle that has faced the Great American Brewers Dialogue is finding an affordable venue that would allow inexpensive (or free) admission. The new space provides a remedy.In addition to the new location, OvalOptions is rolling out two new services.

• Workplace Investigation addresses sensitive and important personnel issues, such as allegations of discrimination, contested work assignments, co-worker conflict, sexual and other harassment, and disputes over reviews and promotions.
• VENTIT™ combines the informational resource aspect of an Ombudsman office with dispute management and coaching services. Its three-tier approach provides clients’ staff a confidential avenue to vocalize, express and vent complaints to an outside party.  Callers can receive tips and guidance, and if needed engage more in-depth services.

For more information, please contact OvalOptions: Help@OvalOptions.com 720-220-8683 

VENTIT Helps with Internal Dynamics of Breweries

May 18th, 2017DENVER, CO---In its ongoing effort to support craft breweries, the Brewery Mediation Network has developed a new program to help breweries manage their internal dynamics.  VENTIT® is designed as a “self-referral” process to connect brewery staff and associates with conflict management professionals at OvalOptions to address any frustrations or tensions that staff member or associate may have in the workplace or at home.

Some of the most damaging and distressing issues to a small business originate from within. Employee dissatisfaction can grow when not addressed, or addressed improperly or incompletely. Unpleasant attitude, tardiness, poor performance and even employee turnover can result from frustrations that fester for weeks, months or even years. The main obstacle to addressing such issues is the confrontation that is needed to bring them to attention. Most people are not comfortable bringing up sensitive issues to their supervisors, mostly due to fear of retribution and lack of effective methods. With a phone call or email to VENTIT®, they are free to vent their frustrations, discuss tensions and receive tips and advice on how they can proceed to address issues at hand.  Their name, position and conversations remain anonymous. Their colleagues and supervisors need not know anything about it.

If a caller has an issue that requires assistance beyond advice, then VENTIT®  can recommend more in-depth services, such as mediation, facilitation, and training at a discount from OvalOptions. As these are in-person methods, anonymity can no longer be maintained, but moving forward with such services is only at the discretion and permission of the caller.Overall, VENTIT®  serves three main functions: as a sort of release valve for frustrations and tensions; as a resource to receive timely tips and advice; and as a conduit to discounted services from OvalOptions.

Furthermore, if certain issues arise multiple times at a brewery, then the brewery ownership is contacted to relay the concern (names and positions are still withheld). In this way, a brewery is alerted to continuous, potentially harmful issues of which it may not be aware.And that’s not all. VENTIT®  may be utilized for a caller’s home life as well. Just as it is important not to “bring work home” (and VENTIT®  helps with that), one should not “bring home to work”. If a VENTIT® -enrolled company’s associate is experiencing tensions or disputes at home (with spouse, neighbors, etc.), then s/he can use VENTIT® .VENTIT® is inclusive. Any person who works at an enrolled brewery, whether they be a brewer, server, owner or manager, can utilize VENTIT®.  It takes a lot of people to successfully run a brewery and should all have access to effective and efficient assistance.For more information about VENTIT® visit www.OvalOptions.com/VENTIT or email Jason Gladfelter: Jason@OvalOptions.com 

Jefferson County Mediation Set for Increased Footprint Under New Contract

PRESS RELEASE---

Denver, CO (February 6, 2017)  Heading into its 24^th year, Jefferson County Mediation Services (JCMS) is set to expand its reach and services under a new contract managed by OvalOptions for Conflict Management. JCMS, the largest community mediation program in Colorado, serving thousands of citizens each year, operates under a contract with Jefferson County to serve its offices, citizens, groups and businesses with mediation. The new contract with OvalOptions enables JCMS to expand its exposure, reach and effectiveness.Mark Loye started JCMS 23 years ago and has grown it to manage 1,600 case/year. Further expansion requires more diverse and flexible capacities. Enter OvalOptions, a Denver-based conflict management firm of which Mr. Loye is co-owner. The sub-contractors utilized by Mr. Loye have been hired by OvalOptions, thereby affording them benefits and opportunities to enhance their skills and training without disrupting JCMS operations.OvalOptions brings more resources to JCMS and other mediation programs, and seeks to increase JCMS case load by 20% and savings by 30% in 5 years. Key areas of expansion include mediation awareness, increased dialogue and enhanced communication skills throughout the community. Doing so helps alleviate court congestion, avoid and diffuse business disruptions, decrease lengthy lawsuits and minimize legal expenses for and within the county.The JCMS program utilizes highly motivated mediators trained in mediation, who have varied professional backgrounds, including communication, education, environmental sciences, health, human resources, law, counseling and business.  In 2015, JCMS saved the county over $200,00 in actual costs, over $600,000 in cost avoidance and helped Child Support Services collect over $500,000 in child support payments. Find out more: http://jeffco.us/mediation-services/about/More about OvalOptions:  Based in Denver, CO, OvalOptions is a consulting firm focused on dispute resolution services operating in conjunction with, parallel to, and outside of the court system. OvalOptions helps clients find the most appropriate solutions for their situations. You can find them online at www.OvalOptions.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ovaloptions or follow on Twitter: @OvalOptions.OvalOptions is also the parent company of the Brewery Mediation Network, offering mediation and other dispute resolution and communication services to Colorado’s craft breweries.  www.OvalOptions.com/BMN  Twitter: @BeerMediator

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Important aspects of divorce situations

ARTICLE LINK:

5 Insane But True Facts About High Conflict Divorce

 Mediation is useful in just about any divorce situation. When emotions run high, and justifiably so, it is vital to manage them without minimizing their importance and meaning. Mediators are there to help acknowledge, understand, express and manage clients' emotions en route to amicable solutions.

Before a lawsuit, try National Craft Brewery Mediation Service

Chances are you didn’t get into commercial brewing for the business aspects of it. You love brewing, but not taxes or (even worse) trademark issues. Even the idea of having ... Read More

Source: Before a lawsuit, try National Craft Brewery Mediation Service

Running out of Names only a Symptom for Craft Brewers

Branding is an important aspect of any business and craft brewing is no exception. There are two main complications craft breweries face in branding their product. One is, what happens when two breweries share the same, or similar, names, logos or images? The other is coming up with a unique brand in the first place, which is often difficult and time-consuming task. A recent NPR article highlights this challenge; 3,000+ breweries equals a short list of available names and logos. But this is a symptom of an underlying issue.It is not so much that craft breweries are running out of names, but rather that they have not realized their creative potential to achieve a unique brand. This limitation makes the branding process unnecessarily difficult and time-consuming. Engaging a third party facilitator during the brainstorming process helps tap the brewery team’s imagination, ideas and cooperation to overcome the "short list" challenge.A skilled facilitator enables the parts of a craft brewery team to strengthen its whole. Each member can voice their concerns, articulate ideas and discover new ones, and examine decisions. As many minds are better than one, a good brainstorming session will see many ideas, good and bad, thrown around openly. Sometimes, seemingly silly ideas can serve as a catalyst for generating great ideas. Facilitation vets all ideas and navigates the group towards a collective and creative result.An outside facilitator grants the additional benefits of offering a different perspective and minimizing the restraints of groupthink. During facilitation, each member’s voice is heard, clarified and considered by all. No one is persuaded to think a certain way, or needs to worry about backlash from saying something different. A day’s worth of group facilitation can help a craft brewery achieve uniqueness and establish a name for itself for years to come.This does not guarantee smooth sailing through trademark waters, however. There is no clear distinction between similarity and difference, and this gray area varies throughout the industry and legal circles. One may see a name or logo as unique, another may see the same name or logo as influenced by their name or logo. A trademark dispute can be an ugly, expensive and daunting prospect. A common scenario sees a craft brewery requesting another craft brewery to change a name or design. If no conciliation is reached, then they retain legal counsel to send a cease and desist letter. Well, nothing will escalate a dispute quicker than a C/D letter. It is worrisome to receive anything in “legalese”. Once lawyers are involved, people tend to coil up into a defensive position, and this can cut off communication and block creative solution generation, not to mention engaging an expensive struggle. And if such dispute hits social media, then a firestorm erupts.But there are other steps unseen and not usually taken. The next step should include at least a call to a mediator before securing legal counsel (this does not mean that legal counsel must be excluded). While (most) attorneys advocate for their client, a mediator advocates for the process of mediation. That is, a mediator's focus is helping people communicate effectively, openly and in a safe space. While a settlement is a goal, it does not drive the mediation, because a mediation's objective is for the parties to develop a settlement of their choosing. Nothing is adjudicated or dictated; it's the parties' agreement, helped along by a neutral.Even if a settlement is not reached, mediation has two main benefits. The first is the opening of communication lines. Sitting face to face often changes the dynamics of a relationship that phone and email preclude. This can strengthen, maintain and establish personal relationships, which make collaboration easier.The second benefit is a "willingness to mediate". Sometimes, one party will agree to mediate and the other will not. If this happens, the first party will receive a letter stating that, yes, they tried to set up mediation and the other party was unwilling. This says to a judge (and the public) that one party was willing to talk it out, but the other was not.Avoiding costly, lengthy and damaging trademark disputes starts from within the brewery, not the ostensibly finite list of potential names. How a brewery team thinks is just as important as what it thinks. How the team communicates, within itself and with others, is just as important as what it communicates. Facilitation and mediation are more than feel-good, idealistic, notions. They can save a company tens of thousands of dollars and improve its overall image, atmosphere, communications and business.----------------------------------------------------

Branding and Trademark Disputes: 7 Things to Keep in Mind

Of the challenges that craft breweries face, the dark cloud of trademark infringement is one of the ugliest for two reasons: a trademark dispute can cost time, money, energy and perhaps the business; and it is reminiscent of corporate industry, which upsets the camaraderie or community aspect of craft brewing.  Yet this cloud persists and can hover over any brewery. If it comes your way, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. While your business is a large personal investment, challenges against your trademark or brand (or accusations towards you of such) should not be taken as a personal attack.  Easier said than done, no doubt, but if this dispute turns personal, it can get ugly and lose focus of the original concern
2. Most trademark infringements, real or perceived, are accidental. With so many breweries in operation today, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find uniqueness in branding, naming and image.  An accused brewery may not intend infringement or harm.  This may sound trivial, but intent draws a line between hostility and honest mistake
3. We all make mistakes, which are, by definition, accidental.  Most of us feel bad when we mess up and the last thing we need is scolding.  The best thing we can do is to learn from them and not admonish others for their mistakes
4. Injuries of social media. Nothing can escalate a dispute more quickly, with more damage, over a wider area, than social media. The reward for using social media is minimal while the impact of damage is almost inevitable
5. Talk it out.  While a cease and desist letter might be required, it is a cold and impersonal communication.  Yet, it is available at any time; if talking does not go anywhere a C/D letter remains an option.  Nothing to lose by talking
6. Get help to talk it out.  This is where OvalOptions can help.  Sometimes disputes become heated exchanges, communication shuts down, and parties run to the courts, bypassing an important, and often overlooked, step.  Mediation and other alternative dispute resolution (ADR) methods provide effective, cost efficient and sustainable solutions without negating one’s right to seek legal avenues.  ADR also helps maintain the communal nature of craft brewing
7. In some cases, litigation may be appropriate.  While this can be a long, drawn-out and expensive option with no guarantee of positive results, it might be necessary.  This is not for OvalOptions to decide or advise.

Magic Hat / West Sixth Breweries Use Mediation for Settlement

Last week, Magic Hat and West Sixth breweries reached a settlement of a trademark dispute without going to court.  According to initial reports, a magistrate judge served as mediator and the official dispute ended within a week.  We applaud both parties for choosing mediation to seek a mutually agreeable solution and avoid expensive, drawn out litigation. The light at the end of a litigation tunnel would have probably seen the demise of West Sixth and severe public blowback at Magic Hat. It is pleasing to see mediation save both from horrible consequences.  More breweries, and businesses in general, should install mediation as a step in their dispute resolution processes and policies.Yet, while these breweries illustrate the importance and prospects of mediation, they also underscore how the complexities of communication, business and social media can escalate a disagreement to the point where litigation seems the only option left. This case saw a flurry of public venom that escalated the dispute further with each social media posting and legal step taken. And with escalation comes position entrenchment, making resolution that much more difficult.This is an interesting case in that Magic Hat wielded one powerful weapon (impersonal legal motions), while West Sixth wielded another (modern social media platforms).  Magic Hat could not sway the public to their favoring by issuing cease and desist letters, and filing lawsuits.  They were quickly seen, and promoted, as a large corporation picking a small family business, bullying them into submission.  West Sixth learned that public statements will not make any difference in court. And going to court could ignite the possibility of losing the case and going out of business.Beyond the clash of powers, it is also interesting to see how each power provides absolutely no help to resolve the dispute. Each time one side would issue a legal motion or post on social media, the dispute flamed on.   They seemed destined for a long, arduous court battle.  But, give them immense credit; somehow they paused along the slippery slope leading to damaging litigation long enough to consider and seek mediation.  That is not easy to do when emotions are simmering, or boiling, and businesses are taking a pounding on social media sites. Kudos to both sides.All of this highlights the importance of mediation and other conflict management processes.  For one, this case demonstrates that mediation can halt disputes from going over the proverbial cliff. When all hope seems lost, mediation still saved the day.  Businesses, organizations and even families should take note that if mediation has not been used, that it still can be no matter how far the dispute has gone or how close litigation seems.Another important lesson from this case is that not by engaging mediation or other conflict management processes from the beginning of the dispute it can result in ugly escalation, with some unmitigateable damages.  Neither litigation nor mediation can fix 100% the damages done to public image, hence the importance of seeking mediation early.  And how important is public image?  Just look at the joint press release; the largest paragraph is dedicated to an “apology” from West Sixth for misrepresenting Magic Hat in public.  That, above everything else, shows how important public image is, and the necessity of mediation in early stages of a dispute.The press release also states that both breweries are satisfied with their solution and will go their separate ways.  While we do not know the details of the mediation, or any unmentioned specifics (attitudes, emotions, etc), it may be a good idea to enter a reconciliation process to address any "bad blood" that may linger, although we cannot recommend a specific process.  Good faith collaborations or meetings can go a long way in assuaging damage to public image, perhaps even to help other parties in similar trademark disputes.  There's a lot left to be done after mediation. All of it is optional and promises little financial benefit up front, but as we have seen in this case, finance is not the only concern.

Slippery Slope of Brewery Trademark Disputes

The Ugliness Surrounding TrademarksIt seems the Strange Debacle was not enough proof of the sensitivity and power of social media. West Sixth Brewing and Magic Hat Brewing Co. are engaged in a trademark dispute that has quickly spilled over into the social stream.  Each brewing company has plenty of supporters and detractors, and many online users denounce both and think the whole subject is ridiculous. And in a way, they’re correct.  How did a trademark dispute end up as a social media firestorm?  What were the reasons for the lawsuit and facebook postings? What was the goal with these decisions? Did the still-ongoing dispute over “strange” not teach these breweries a lesson or two?Now, it would be easy to jump the gun and seek someone to blame, and many are doing so. But this does not address the problem, which is complex. Even if the lawsuit is dropped, or the parties settle out of court, problems will remain.   Sure, the first problem is trademark protection/infringement. A business has a right to protect its label, brand and image. Adjudication can settle this, legally, but has no impact on facebook et al and public reputation, nor should it. Damage to both breweries will continue to accumulate, with most damage done to the larger of the two (Magic Hat) in public relations, and West Sixth in finances.Then there is the problem of communication and relationship. The Craft Beer Industry is one of camaraderie and friendship. This sort of trademark dispute, more specifically the method of disputing, damages these aspects.  It is quite unlikely that, without help, Magic Hat and West Sixth (and their “allies”) will ever be on good speaking terms. A judge cannot make them “be nice”. Maybe they would have never been friends, or close acquaintances, or even friendly strangers, but now they have almost assured they will not be, and that is disappointing.Ostensibly, the mistakes made were filing a lawsuit (which is public) and utilizing social media. Yet, these were symptoms of a bigger problem: dispute mismanagement. A common aspect of which is going to extremes to settle the issue; the best defense is a strong offense mantra. Unfortunately, following this stream of thought overlooks valuable, available, effective and affordable options.Mediation and other conflict management services ought to be considered before lawyering up and unleashing online campaigns. To be sure, these services are still available with attorneys involved, it just becomes more complicated and decreases the parties’ control of the process. When a disagreement escalates beyond private, one-on-one, and personal discussion, the next step should be to contact a conflict management services provider.  Even if they cannot help for whatever reason, there is no harm done. The parties can go right ahead and do whatever they want, whether filing a suit or hitting facebook.  Nothing is lost, and at the very least judges tend to appreciate “good faith” attempts to find resolution outside of court.The folks at West Sixth and Magic Hat still have options before going to court.  Whether or not they try these is unknown. Perhaps they themselves are unaware that such services are available.  That’s why we are here, to help in whatever way we can, even if that means referring parties to other providers. In the end, social media will not overturn legal trademarks, and lawsuits cannot sway public opinion.

Conflict in Construction

Remodeling your kitchen?  Developer of a new downtown high-rise? A commuter having to make detours to bypass roadwork on your daily drive to work? Whether you are in the construction industry, or simply drive by something “under construction”, there’s no doubt you have experienced the myriad of hassles from construction projects big or small.The construction industry, private and public, is fraught with conflict and special issues requiring intervention at many levels of a project.  For better-or-worse, construction and conflict go hand-in-hand.  But there is a positive side to glean from construction conflict: mediation and other alternative dispute resolution techniques are poised to become the preferred methods of dispute resolution within construction projects.Why? In large part because of the lower costs associated with these resolution techniques as compared to litigation or even arbitration.  More-so, because mediation can resolve disputes much faster than traditional alternatives. And delays in construction can amount to millions of dollars.  Above all, mediation can and is used in two different ways in construction management: as a dispute prevention technique as well as dispute resolution once conflict has emerged.  Thus mediators can be used very innovatively in construction projects: as dispute avoidance professionals and/or as dispute resolution specialists.Construction can have many sources of conflict. The Construction Industry Institute and Pen-Mora, Sosa & MCone (2003) identify sources of conflict ranging from unrealistic expectations, contract document language, schedule delays, performance clauses, contractor negligence, construction document misinterpretation, industry unpredictability, and poor workmanship to name a few.  Similar to other industries, the construction industry also has organizational conflict that is exacerbated by the various levels of project team members who may communicate or understand things very differently from one another. For example, the owner and financial resource (can be a private party or government entity), the architect/engineer, the prime contractor and subcontractors all are expected to work symbiotically with clear communications channels and understand each other’s needs.  But often there are divergent objectives: an owner wants maximum quality and functionality at minimal cost and the contractor wants to meet the scope of work by expending minimum resources.  A recipe for conflict!Yet, if you ask a contractor or owner what the single most prevalent source of conflict within their work is, they will probably tell you it isn’t negligence or shoddy workmanship or disagreement over expectations and deadlines, instead they’ll say it is contract disputes over payment. They’ll tell you stories about change-order disputes, “paid-when-paid” verses “paid-on-terms” clauses and the clashes experienced when contractors or material suppliers can’t get payment in time to fund their own overhead and payroll.  You’ll hear stories about price changes with construction schedule changes, being on deadline and not waiting for paper change-orders, operating on verbal agreements that differ from contract work and having final payments withheld.  And it’s not just payment that gets held up; it’s also the completion of a job that is held up. It is not uncommon for years to go by before payment is complete – with or without litigation or arbitration.  The result is relationships that fracture and future projects which are tainted. If specific points of conflict were addressed at the time they arise, much of the payment and contract disputes can be minimized or even avoided.The inherent conflict that can occur with even the most coordinated and managed projects has caused the construction industry to become quite savvy with resolving conflict so that it does not affect schedules or the bottom line: many construction contracts now include provisions for mediation as a function of the on-going project – to identify and manage conflict as it arises and address it real-time. Suffice it to say that resolving conflict before it escalates is paramount in the construction industry. An impartial, objective third-party who can work with both sides of a construction dispute before or immediately upon its presence can make all the difference in a successful, on-time, on-budget construction project.

Thinking Divorce? A Mediator Can Help

According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology, 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. As bad as it is for first marriages, it seems lessons are not learned. Childlessness is cited as a common cause, but often it is problems with children, in-laws, finances, and the commonly used escape clause incompatibility that are reasons for divorce. A good many divorces might be prevented if couples considered mediation prior to applying for divorce.

Mediation is not marriage counseling or “treatment” of some sort. Mediation is allowing a third party neutral to disputes to hear both sides and enable them to better understand each other. Typically, it is the lack of communication and the avoidance of the difficult conversation that is the root cause of divorce. If you are thinking of divorce, you may have other options before contacting a divorce attorney.

Why Mediate Divorce? How a Mediator Can Help During Your Divorce.

It's a fact; divorce is one of the most stressful situations you can go through in your lifetime.Yet you may choose to make it an even more difficult and costly experience for yourself by paying attorneys copious amounts of money to fight a extended and painful battle.If your children are involved this path can be an even more stressful situation.There are circumstances where the court and litigation process is the right one but even then mediation is often a viable, and sometimes required, option to work out part of the agreement leaving only the unresolved issues to the attorneys and the courts.And most certainly where there are children involved it is often in their best interest for their parents to design a parenting agreement that puts the children first. A parenting plan should be born out of compassion and care for the children’s future rather than one that is based on acrimony and winning the battle.Separating couples often go through the divorce or separation process trying to win a battle of the past relationship rather than thinking about what's best for them and their children’s future.It would seem that the intelligent and thoughtful way to move forward and get on with one's life is often through the mediation process.The mediation process empowers the involved parties to have a say so in their divorce or separation rather than have a decision imposed on them by the court.Lower cost, less stress and more meaningful agreements are some of the direct benefits of mediation.

Conflict Resolution: Painless Profit During a Tough Economy

The most overlooked potential for maintaining and potentially increasing profit during a down economy is to focus on your staff. If you are seeing an increase in absenteeism, tardiness, turnover, passive aggressive behavior, or congregation around the coffee pot, you may have problems. These problems are typically associated with unacknowledged conflict. The conflicts may be caused by things such as personality differences and work stresses and may be between two or more employees, between an employee and a supervisor or any combination of personnel.As a business manager, you may often ignore these conflicts because of their relationship to emotional and stress factors. Left unattended, these unsettled conflicts are robbing your bottom line…big time.Most employee turnover is a result of unresolved conflict. Studies suggest that your cost to replace an employee is between 75-150% of that person’s annual salary. Passive aggressive behavior and related symptoms of conflict are also affecting profit in terms of cost overruns, stolen time, poor quality products, customer dissatisfaction and potential loss of customers.Conflict does not magically go away. As a manager and leader, you must take steps toward resolution. Avoidance is rarely the best solution because when conflict goes unresolved you lose your best employees, not the “problem” employees.Our next article “Five steps to resolve conflict in the workplace” will offer you some advice on how to get started towards conflict resolution.

Making the choice between your friend and your politician

The presidential debates are looming, and many of us need to be reminded how to avoid turning our friends into enemies. The tips below will help you maintain sanity during the political season and avoid the need to choose between your friends and your candidates.

1. Remember every issue has many viewpoints; strive to understand them.
2. Listen to what is meant and how you are receiving it rather than how it is stated.
3. Ask questions to clarify meanings.
4. Focus on the issues, not the person.
5. Be respectful; no name-calling.
6. Ask yourself whether you have all of the facts. Be open-minded and willing to learn.
7. Keep the doors open to areas of common agreement and new ideas.
8. Practice patience.

The key to working through all types of disagreements is to strive toward understanding the other person’s perspective. If you understand where they’re coming from and why they believe what they do, then they are more likely to act in kind and recognize your opinion on the issue.Remember that, unless you destroy the relationship now, your friends will be around long after your candidate’s term has ended. Also, be sure to consider how boring the world would be if we all agreed on everything.If you want more information, read about our efforts to encourage productive conversations through Pub Dialogues. 

What is divorce mediation and how can it help?

Negotiating divorce is one of the most common uses for mediation and many people have common questions about the process. Here is a quick Q&A for you.1. What is mediation?Mediation is a process that works outside of or along with the court system. The purpose of mediation is for a neutral person to help couples negotiate the details of their separation. The mediator isn’t a decision maker but is responsible for keeping the conversation focused and productive.A mediator can help you negotiate anything you need but the most common aspects include working out the separation agreement and the parenting plan. In Colorado, these two documents are the most common divorce forms (assuming you have children). Depending on your situation, you may need other documents. You can find Colorado court forms here. Mediation is flexible and allows you to draft agreements on as many points as possible and leave the rest for the judge to decide.2. Why did the judge order mediation?In Colorado, mediation is part of a standard case management order, which encourages people to work out as much on their own as possible. Judges are required to make decisions based on the information you give them and the legal precedent. If you don’t have an attorney – and even if you do, you can be surprised by the judge’s decision. Believe it or not, the judge is a person, too, and he or she generally doesn’t want to decide who gets the television or car, when you get to see your children, or which parent is best to make the day-to-day decisions about your children. Mediation is your last opportunity to work out something that you’re both happy with before the judge makes a decision for you.3. What does the mediator decide?The mediator does not decide anything. The mediator’s job is to help you think through the pros and cons of all options and even think outside of the box.  The purpose is to help you figure out what works best for you in your situation.4. Is mediation enforceable?No, but your agreement can be filed with the court, and once a judge approves it, it can be enforced.5. Can mediation be used in every situation?Mediation can be used in a lot of situations but isn’t always appropriate. Contact us to see if mediation is appropriate in your case. 

Pub Dialogues: Session 1.1

The second session of The Pub Dialogues series was held at Vine Street Pub on March 20th, 2012 (the first day of Spring!), from 6-9pm, in the annex room (Harry's).For this session we selected the topic "The State of Education".  On the presidential campaign trail the phrase 'education reform' has been uttered quite a bit.  Not much, however, has been discussed to clarify the term, what sort of reform, or even why reform seems necessary. We thought about "education reform" for this session's topic, however we felt that this is too directive--to talk only about reform when, perhaps, some people may not agree with reform and have other thoughts concerning education.  To be sure, reform was certainly open to conversation in this session, we just wished not to force it.We had a great time at Vine Street. People discussed topics within education from testing/exam philosophies and approaches, to school funding, to differences between standardization and standardized .  At the end of the formal session attendees were open to mingle and socialize, making new friends and continuing the discussions from the smaller groups.On tap were many delicious beers and Mountain Sun's famous Hop Vivant Imperial IPA made an appearance.

From the Inside Out: First Level Conflict Management

The field of Conflict Resolution has grown in the last 30 years, concentrating on processes such as peace building, mediation, truth commissions, and reconciliation to name a few.  The impact of Con-Res has become increasingly noticeable and its methods sought after. Yet these reactive efforts do not go far enough. Like the old saying goes, Give a man a fish; you've fed him for a day. Teach him to fish; and you've fed him for a lifetime, education of Con-Res skills needs to focus on the individual and daily life to establish a proactive approach to managing conflict.The above services (mediation et al) are enacted as a conflict intensifies, at the cessation of violence, or after it concludes (although this is a gray area).  Damage has already been done, or is accruing. Many people do not possess basic Con-Res skills, which increases the possibility that seemingly harmless misunderstandings will escalate to damaging conflicts, and the need for third party intervention becomes more and more evident.  Effective management of conflict requires personal Con-Res skills, with reactionary services on-board as important back-up procedures.If more people (ideally everybody) were to possess basic Conflict Resolution skills, then many problems, disputes, and conflicts can be prevented or managed effectively at the “first” level, thereby decreasing costs (financial, emotional, relational, physical, etc) of prolonged discontent. It is important to note that this approach will not solve every problem, or eliminate every conflict. Conflict is inevitable and a necessary condition of life; managed effectively it promotes change, progression, and innovation. To take advantage of contentious situations requires proactive measures as well as reactive services.Now is the time to teach, provide, and encourage personal Con-Res skills, especially to the youth and future generations. I see four pillars upon which more advanced methods can be learned and practiced:

• Intrapersonal Communication: Communication as it pertains to an individual (one side of an exchange).  How language, word selection, tone, volume, phrasing, body language, listening and understanding the audience affects communication.  “How did your leg break?” isn’t as accusatory as “How did you break your leg?”
• Critical Thinking: Analyzing a situation to better select communication methods, understanding consequences of actions, acknowledging the role of emotions, increase clarity in explaining interests/positions, and recognizing the impact each of these may have on others. Does placement of trash cans inhibit easy access for the sanitation workers? How would sanitation workers be affected if I place the cans in a cumbersome way? How would they react?
• Situational Awareness: Understanding the context in which conversations, actions, disagreements, and commonalities exist. Should I ask my friend for some money while within a group of people, or in private?
• Patience: To deal with emotions effectively and efficiently, not jump to conclusions, in explaining situation/reactions/motives/etc. Frustrations and emotions arise in disputes and even common communications. The ability to endure these with a clear (or clearer) head is vital to the resolution of conflict. Is someone going through a difficult time and needs to vent, not really meaning what they say even if it’s offensive to me?

Essentially these pillars become a way of life more so than a way of thinking. These basic skills would enhance reactionary services when they are needed (such as the NFL Lockout mediation). They can be built within the person, preparing them to better manage whatever conflict situation they encounter in their walk in life.  Although conflict management is never easy, people can be more empowered to resolve many conflicts themselves prior to sustaining damages.This education can be applied within public school curricula, personal coaching or tutoring, community classrooms and corporate on- and off-premise training sessions. The lessons and skills can be applied along the broad landscape of human interaction: from space exploration to day-care; from daily family life to business marketing. As long people interact the need for conflict management will persist. 

NFL Lockout: How Mediation is Helping

The NFL owners and players completed another round of mediation last week in their ongoing efforts to negotiate a new collective bargaining agreement (CBA) in time for the start of the 2011-2012 season. This most recent session was court-mandated and, as expected, did not lead to a settlement.It’s possible the parties may have made more progress had the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals not stepped in on the same day as the mediation conference, but that’s unlikely. The Court decided to reinstate the owners’ “lockout” of the players, keeping the freeze on all NFL business - including payments to players - in place. This is technically a temporary order by the Court until it issues its final ruling after oral arguments in June. Both sides want to see this particular legal challenge through before negotiating further.Given all the fits and starts to this labor dispute, many are questioning whether mediation has been largely a waste of time. A new CBA seems no more likely today than it did before the two negotiating groups met for 16 days in February and March during their first attempt at a mediated settlement. We have only vague public statements about “progress” and speculation regarding what, if any, movement has occurred from either side in negotiations. Instead of consensus, the parties exit each meeting as entrenched in discord as ever.All of these mediation sessions must appear rather pointless then, right? Doubtful.What Is Happening in the Negotiating RoomThe truth is we don’t know what is happening behind closed doors. But I suspect mediation has already proved more productive to this point than anyone is letting on. I’d even go so far to say that not only is mediation exactly the right process for this dispute, but that it will prove to be the foundation around which a resolution is finally achieved. Despite all of the hand-wringing, this negotiation is unfolding as it must before a new CBA will be reached. Too much money (some estimates range in the neighborhood of $9 billion) and too many competing agendas are at stake for this to be resolved without a few false starts.Consider the dynamics in play. Not only is the NFL a multi-billion dollar industry, the parties are ensnared in a very public dispute as both sides - owners and players - vie for public sympathy for their respective positions. Further, each “party” represents a larger group with diverse interests and agendas that do not always align in-house. Owner divisions include small- vs. big-market teams; cash-rich vs. cash-strapped operations; and traditional vs. progressive sensibilities. Compare that against player tensions arising between top-tier vs. middle-of-the-pack and league minimum contracts; stars vs. “role” players; and current vs. retired members.And, to complicate matters further, every discussion is surrounded by participants with ultra-competitive personalities that have been forged in a tradition where wins happen only when the other side loses.Why There Is No Deal YetAt this stage, the owners and players are bent on gaining whatever leverage they can before either gets serious about working out a deal, and they each have many cards to play away from the negotiating table before narrowing their respective bargaining positions. For the owners, the primary point of leverage is the lockout. They hope it will put financial pressure on enough players to force the union (despite efforts to decertify) to yield to negotiations in order to get its members back to work. For the players, they have a laundry list of legal challenges they can bring to risk the current structure of the league, and which, in turn, could cast this wildly successful joint enterprise into a world of uncertainty.So much of the commentary surrounding these events has been preoccupied with the endgame of getting a deal done. The problem with this approach is that it fails to acknowledge the subtleties inherent in the negotiating process as a whole. Every negotiation involves stages of preparation and discovery before bargaining begins in earnest. The NFL owners and players have not been ready to bargain, because they do not yet feel adequately secure in their bargaining positions. Some of these ongoing legal challenges will have to play out before either side begins to accept their stations at the negotiating table.Mediation Is the FrameworkNegotiations with this many moving parts take time and involve more than a few bumps and bruises. Mediation has provided the NFL owners and players a framework to help them navigate through the necessary preparatory phases of their negotiating process and, perhaps most importantly, a confidential setting in which to do it. Public airings are far from an ideal platform for parties with a long and contentious history to come to terms on an agreement. Mediation requires open and honest communication, and offers a safe space to air discussions outside of the public forum. By invoking confidentiality, information shared during these sessions cannot be used in court, freeing the parties to explore areas and interests that they would not otherwise discuss.Additionally, part of a mediator’s job is to help the parties get to a point where they each feel comfortable bargaining. This may mean helping them better clarify their positions and focus their respective strategies. It may also mean acting as a facilitator to create a collaborative environment for the parties to discover where they have joint interests on which they can build consensus.As a neutral third party who is not there to decide right or wrong on any given issue, the NFL mediator would have been well-suited to help the owners and players sift through their many (often competing) agendas, grievances, concerns and goals. That process would have been constructive regardless of whether it led directly to a deal. In fact, it would not surprise me to learn that the current legal strategies working their way through the courts were refined as a result of such an exercise.Common Goal: Keep the League ThrivingAs it stands now, the NFL owners and players remain in the positioning phase of these negotiations. Both groups’ positions will come clearer into focus as some of the current legal challenges are decided. How the parties respond in the short term remains to be seen, but I am confident they will be back in mediation to further negotiations and ultimately strike a deal. Using the courts to garner leverage in negotiations can only take them so far. Eventually, the risk of uncertainty associated with relying too heavily on the courts to “solve” their differences will outweigh the utility of litigation to improve bargaining position.In the final, both sides know they are partners in a very profitable enterprise and they will be forced to bargain with one another to keep it thriving. Mediation will continue to be a critical tool that guides those negotiations much of the way.

Resolving Disputes When Logic Collides with Emotion (Part II)

(Part II of a Three Part Series)Read Part I HereSo, how do Logical (Facts & Figures) People and Emotional (Achy/Breaky) People work with each other personally or professionally? 

• Remember that you both have different ways of looking at things, and neither is right or wrong – they’re just different. That alone will get you further down the path of resolution.  
• Pay attention to how the other side sees the issue. You don’t have to agree, but you do need to sincerely acknowledge it. Each party’s concerns/interests are his or hers; they’re not ridiculous or worthless. Respect them, though you may oppose them.

Cheat Sheet for the Facts & Figures (“F&F”) Person: 

• Stop and listen to what the other person is saying. It’s hard, but try to actually hear what the other party is saying – pretend it’s a complicated, but intriguing algorithm. Try to repeat back to her what she said (which may be difficult - be patient!). Give the conversation a chance to progress before you jump into the crux of your logistics (actual figures). Let the other person know that you can understand and respect her point of view, even if you disagree with it. “Emotion based” people need to be heard and validated – it’s everything.  
• Let your proposal breathe. Remember, an Achy/Breaky (“A/B”) person has to feel like her comments have moved you, literally and figuratively. So, your ultimate position needs to “reflect” her emotions. No need for extremes here, just don’t figure out the entire problem on your own then throw out a “take it or leave it” position. Give her interests and concerns due consideration. Engage in dialogue; allow your numbers to be flexible in light of the A/B’s emotions-based counter proposals. If you process her reasoning with the same determination as you devised your proposal, you may be pleasantly surprised at the result.  
• Stop with the “I’ll call my lawyer‼” Give the situation a chance; listen, dialogue, validate the other side’s reasoning, if not her offer. If resolution is impossible, then tell her what your next move is – (especially since you have already calculated the win/loss ratio) – don’t waste threats. Threats intimidate an Achy/Breaky person (it’s personal, not just business), and ruin any chance to informally resolve the dispute. Threatening to go to court is a “be careful what you wish for” kind of problem – what you may get from a judge could be far worse than what you might have gotten by continuing informal dialogue. Clinging to your facts and figures may ultimately cost you much more money, time, and energy. Finally, when Achy/Breaky threatens to go to court, don’t recalibrate. Until she really does, you still have a chance to resolve the conflict. Remember, A/B’s deal in emotions – hitting the panic button is reflexive. Whatever emotion they are communicating is most likely a knee jerk reaction to the “logic” you have tossed onto the negotiating table. Inhale…Exhale...Repeat.

In the final section, we offer suggestions for the Achy/Breaky Person to positively engage in disputes with Facts & Figures People.Contiue to Part III: Cheet Sheet for Achy/Breaky People