Making the choice between your friend and your politician

The presidential debates are looming, and many of us need to be reminded how to avoid turning our friends into enemies. The tips below will help you maintain sanity during the political season and avoid the need to choose between your friends and your candidates.

1. Remember every issue has many viewpoints; strive to understand them.
2. Listen to what is meant and how you are receiving it rather than how it is stated.
3. Ask questions to clarify meanings.
4. Focus on the issues, not the person.
5. Be respectful; no name-calling.
6. Ask yourself whether you have all of the facts. Be open-minded and willing to learn.
7. Keep the doors open to areas of common agreement and new ideas.
8. Practice patience.

The key to working through all types of disagreements is to strive toward understanding the other person’s perspective. If you understand where they’re coming from and why they believe what they do, then they are more likely to act in kind and recognize your opinion on the issue.Remember that, unless you destroy the relationship now, your friends will be around long after your candidate’s term has ended. Also, be sure to consider how boring the world would be if we all agreed on everything.If you want more information, read about our efforts to encourage productive conversations through Pub Dialogues. 

What is divorce mediation and how can it help?

Negotiating divorce is one of the most common uses for mediation and many people have common questions about the process. Here is a quick Q&A for you.1. What is mediation?Mediation is a process that works outside of or along with the court system. The purpose of mediation is for a neutral person to help couples negotiate the details of their separation. The mediator isn’t a decision maker but is responsible for keeping the conversation focused and productive.A mediator can help you negotiate anything you need but the most common aspects include working out the separation agreement and the parenting plan. In Colorado, these two documents are the most common divorce forms (assuming you have children). Depending on your situation, you may need other documents. You can find Colorado court forms here. Mediation is flexible and allows you to draft agreements on as many points as possible and leave the rest for the judge to decide.2. Why did the judge order mediation?In Colorado, mediation is part of a standard case management order, which encourages people to work out as much on their own as possible. Judges are required to make decisions based on the information you give them and the legal precedent. If you don’t have an attorney – and even if you do, you can be surprised by the judge’s decision. Believe it or not, the judge is a person, too, and he or she generally doesn’t want to decide who gets the television or car, when you get to see your children, or which parent is best to make the day-to-day decisions about your children. Mediation is your last opportunity to work out something that you’re both happy with before the judge makes a decision for you.3. What does the mediator decide?The mediator does not decide anything. The mediator’s job is to help you think through the pros and cons of all options and even think outside of the box.  The purpose is to help you figure out what works best for you in your situation.4. Is mediation enforceable?No, but your agreement can be filed with the court, and once a judge approves it, it can be enforced.5. Can mediation be used in every situation?Mediation can be used in a lot of situations but isn’t always appropriate. Contact us to see if mediation is appropriate in your case. 

Pub Dialogues: Session 1.1

The second session of The Pub Dialogues series was held at Vine Street Pub on March 20th, 2012 (the first day of Spring!), from 6-9pm, in the annex room (Harry's).For this session we selected the topic "The State of Education".  On the presidential campaign trail the phrase 'education reform' has been uttered quite a bit.  Not much, however, has been discussed to clarify the term, what sort of reform, or even why reform seems necessary. We thought about "education reform" for this session's topic, however we felt that this is too directive--to talk only about reform when, perhaps, some people may not agree with reform and have other thoughts concerning education.  To be sure, reform was certainly open to conversation in this session, we just wished not to force it.We had a great time at Vine Street. People discussed topics within education from testing/exam philosophies and approaches, to school funding, to differences between standardization and standardized .  At the end of the formal session attendees were open to mingle and socialize, making new friends and continuing the discussions from the smaller groups.On tap were many delicious beers and Mountain Sun's famous Hop Vivant Imperial IPA made an appearance.