emotion

Six Factors That Can Make Matters Worse

We all face some form of conflict every day. From navigating traffic to deciding what to watch on TV after a long day. Most of these are "flash-pan" conflicts that are usually forgotten in minutes and ostensibly have no bearing on our lives.  Unfortunately, conflicts do not exist in a vacuum; many factors can affect our conflicts thereby increasing their affects on us and others. Like a snowball rolling down a mountain gathering more snow, increasing its size and momentum, a conflict can grow with the addition of several small influences until it demands attention.When conflicts arrive to this point, management, resolution, or reconciliation should be sought to prevent further damage. These efforts are reactionary, and as such (ironically) require a conflict for their application.  But what about addressing conflict situations before they gather momentum? What are those small influences that engorge a conflict?  Let's take a look at six factors that can make matters worse and what their influences can be. In doing so, we can shed some light on how you can take steps to nip conflict escalation in the bud.

  1. Communication
  2. Trust
  3. Emotion
  4. Relationship
  5. Context
  6. Anticipation

First up: Communication ------------------------------------

Six Factors That Can Make Matters Worse: Communication

First and foremost is Communication. This may seem obvious, but the devil lay in the details.  Communication is more than a relay of information. Many things impact communication:
  • Choice of words
  •  Volume
  • Proximity
  • Sarcasm
  • Language, culture, nationality, etc
  • Medium (letter, email, in person, etc)
  • External noises
  • Social media (facebook, twitter, reddit, etc)
  • Body language
  • Relationship with other party
  • and Listening (more specifically, Active Listening)

Active Listening signals that the listener is actually listening.  Rephrasing is a method of active listening and is much more effective than saying, "I'm listening".   Most, if not all, conflicts can be attributed to some degree of communication issues.  The basic problem is that we automatically assume we understand what the other is saying, why they are saying it, and what it all means. With the speed of communication these days we spend less time listening and, therefore, do not fully understand the information relayed…but we think we do.Communication has its own importance, but it also extends to the next influence on conflicts: Trust