Behind the Dialogues, Part 3

The PubThroughout the centuries, people have met at the local pub to discuss topics of importance. The founding fathers of the U.S. met in pubs to discuss the fate of the colonies, allegiance with Britain, and the desire for independence.  These pubs usually brewed their own beer, as did the founding fathers. During Prohibition, these pubs closed, brewing became a lost art, and the communal conversation forgotten.Thankfully, brewpubs are back.  They combine the comfort of the old pubs and the beer styles of a new generation of adventurous brew-masters.  Most of these establishments are small businesses, locally owned, and part of the community.  They make a profit from their passion, and their passion is to make and serve great beer—the social lubricant of the ages.The pub offers a relaxed atmosphere. Some have leather chairs and fireplaces. Others have outside or rooftop patios.  Some offer delicious meals and snacks.  Pubs are a night out, a place to meet people, people watch, and to have conversations.  As the theme song for the 1980s-90s sitcom, “Cheers”, states:

You wanna be where you can see,

our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows

Your name.

The pub is a safe space where inhibitions are set loose, at least a bit.  And you just might learn something… Part 1Part 2Part 4

Behind the Dialogues...

Part 2: Peace Peace: Two definitions seem worlds apart:

• the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world. (dictionary.com)
• harmony in personal relations (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Conversation, and the skills it requires, is important to peace. The first definition is incomplete if it does not include the second.  Is “non-war” peace?  For example, it is difficult to believe Syria and Israel maintain a peaceful condition just because their armies are not warring.Communication between possible belligerent nations is vital before unleashing the destructive apparatuses of war and warfare.  The United Nations is a governmental forum where nations can communicate about pressing issues as an effort to eliminate, or at least curtail, war. What about the people?Following the practices of John Paul Lederach and Harold Saunders, we believe that communication is complicated, multi-layered, fragile, and essential for peace, and begins on the personal level. Daily conversations, what we say, how we say it, the words we choose, our tone, to whom we are speaking, and the issues discussed are important in the personal realm as well as the international scene.An antagonistic conversation with someone tends to influence our overall view of that person, and others who share that person’s views.  We may conclude that someone who disagrees with us is an idiot or worse.  The idiot label taints whatever else that person, and those like them, says and does.  It takes effort to have this label removed.  Consequently, we shut down, do not listen to what people are saying, or understand their reasons.  As such, we close off the real possibility of learning something, not to mention coming across as rude (we won’t make many friends that way), and no one will listen to us.  If we ignore learning opportunities, then we fail to communicate, which is the key to overcoming disputes, and thus vital to harmony in personal relations.In today’s world, personal relations extend beyond borders. They are powerful tools for seeing that country as a non-enemy. As like us--human.  As such, we listen to them more, try to understand their perspectives, and wish to maintain or strengthen a relationship.Going from individual relational harmony to international peace may seem a stretch, but harming people we know is more difficult than harming those we do not. This starts with communication, and the skills it demands.Read Part 1 here

Behind the Dialogues...

Part 1: Out of the chat room, into the pub If you have ever witnessed an online conversation that quickly moves off topic and turns into name-calling animosity, then you will understand the primary motive for The Pub Dialogues. This type of online bickering is quite annoying, and when about important topics it gets us nowhere and impedes progress.  Chatter is destroying conversation.  Face-to-face conversation is vital for learning, dispute resolution, problem solving, and progress.Conversations about important and sensitive topics are not always easy, especially when involving opposing viewpoints.  Emotions can run high.  People tend to voice their concerns without listening to others, and engage in debate, where winning is the goal.  However, conversations are not zero-sum; there is no winner or loser.  Just because someone has a different opinion does not mean they (or we) are wrong….or right.During these difficult conversations, it is important to adhere to certain principles or rules. Easier said than done, but skilled facilitators can help. A facilitator is a neutral party who utilizes certain techniques, skills and methods to keep interlocutors on topic, respectful and engaged.  It is important that facilitators capture ideas that emerge (sometimes quite quickly), points of commonality, areas of disagreement, and clarify statements/questions that may be confusing.The Internet has no such facilitator. Online communication is raw, instant and commonly unchecked. This style of communication seeps into real-life situations, where offense, confusion and emotions can increase enmity, polarization and stagnation. Online behavior in real-world situations is ugly. It’s time to return to the social scene and talk. Read Part 2 here

The Pub Dialogues

Out of the Chat Room, Into the PubThe Pub Dialogues is a series of discussions--free and open to the public--as an effort to bring people out of the cyber-world and back into the real-world to talk together on subjects of importance to society.  In the early days, people met at the Public House to discuss various topics; now-a-days they "meet" in chat rooms, online forums and social media websites.  The human element has been nullified and as such discussion, debate and dialogue have turned venomous, hurtful, nasty and just plain ineffective.  We want to bring people together so that they may discuss important topics like civil human beings; so that they may understand viewpoints outside of theirs; so that progress can be achieved; and so that new friends can be made.  The pub is perfect place. Just like in the old days a pub is a place of comfort and camaraderie. It's a place where people go to "go out"; where everybody knows your name.The format for these discussions is rather simple.  They will begin with participants remaining in a large group and our lead facilitator will open the session.  An introduction will take about 10 min. We will outline the topic, the ground rules, and answer questions.  The large group will then be split into several smaller groups, as these are more intimate and personal than one large group. Each group will be assigned a facilitator.  After about 1hour we will reconvene to the large group to share experiences, ideas, etc.Our goals:

• To bring people out of cyber-space and meet their neighbors
• To address important (and therefore most likely contentious) topics to allow for the public an opportunity to discover solutions
• To help people understand the "other side" of a topic
• To display tools of effective communication that have been lost in the Information Age
• To encourage people to "get out" more and meet each other

The first session will be held in Mercantile Room at the Wynkoop brewpub in downtown Denver on Tuesday, Jan. 31st from 6:30-9pm. It's free, open to everybody of all ages.