As schools try to find a way to reopen this fall, parents face increased tension brought on by the uncertainties and worries surrounding COVID-19.
When will schools open? Do in-person, online, or hybrid learning models work best for my/our children? How will students stay socially distant? Will students, teachers, and staff wear masks? Should students, teachers, and staff wear masks?
Many questions relate to children going physically back to schools, but those are not the only questions parents are asking. Families are also trying to figure out how parents will be able to work if their children don’t go back to school full time.
Separated parents face an additional headache of coming up with schedules and alterations to previously agreed-upon parenting plans. Usually, when parenting plans need to be modified, parents look to child services or the courts for help. Currently, Colorado courts are buried under an avalanche of backlogged cases. What can parents do?
THE Six things all parents need to practice now:
Communication. The key to addressing any problem is clarity. You must see the problem clearly, think about it clearly, and propose solutions clearly. This requires communication, which ranges from giving updates (“Here is where things are at right now,” “I feel uneasy about this,” etc.) to robust dialogue. This isn’t easy.
Planning. It seems that due to COVID the minute you develop a great plan, you may need to crumple it up and toss it out. Things change quickly; many things are out of your control. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan. Planning helps you think of solutions, notice previously unseen problems, and practice evaluating contingencies.
Flexibility. Things will change. And change again. Your plans will have to adjust. Build some adaptability into your plans so they can be more easily altered, instead of needing to be re-created from scratch. Be accepting of change; resistance can make things more painful than they already are.
Patience. Stress will come in waves, and general anxiety may stick around a while. This is a long-haul situation with no quick fixes or shortcuts. Increased stress is normal for you and others. Be more generous in all your dealings and try to allow everyone in your family and circle of friends time and space for venting.
Priority Setting and Grieving. Priority setting is taken for granted under normal conditions. People tend not to think much about what is important at the root level. When your normal tasks, routines, lives are shattered, what do you miss and why? Is there a substitute for what you are missing? Set priorities and make sure there is an acknowledgment of what is being lost in all your lives, including your children’s. Everyone has different things they are losing. It is healthy to recognize and process the grief experienced because of these losses.
Ask for Help. Parenthood can be challenging in normal conditions. Changing circumstances that are beyond your control can increase stress, headaches, and tension. You are not alone. Mediation is not only for people in dispute. It can help people sift through the complexities of adjusting to a new life, whether that’s due to COVID, parental separation, parent-child tension, family scheduling, work changes, or other circumstances that may require that you modify your parenting plan.
Conflict is an unavoidable part of life. People handle it poorly, and they don't know where to go for help. This costs them financially and emotionally. OvalOptions connects people with tools to resolve conflict in constructive ways. When you choose the right conflict management option, you transform conflict into personal success. Contact us at Options@OvalOptions.com or (720) 220-8683 to discuss your options today!